#nofear

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[Music] Damh the Bard – Green and Grey

 

I don’t know what it is about Damh the Bard that makes me listen to his music mostly in winter ๐Ÿ˜€

Definitely a recommendation! Currently listening to the album The Cauldron Born* ๐Ÿ™‚

 

 

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Shaping

The internet is filled with us people who have fallen victim to bullies either in their childhood, their teens or even as grown-ups. I’m no singular phenomenon although I felt like one back then.

I am aware that probably zero people of my past learned anything else than that you can get away with bullying, no matter what you say. And since I preferred not to beat the living shit out of them I think it’s just natural.

You can have different approaches to cope with childhood bullying after you finally grew up. I learned to embrace my inner weirdo and the honesty with which I’m obviously weird is something that makes me believable as a person.

Somewhere along the path I chose to be me instead of catering to other peoples ideas how I should be to be more likeable. I did not choose to be overweight back then, but I chose to be open about my love of computer games, anime, programming, tv series and my choice of clothes. I chose to cheer up others who got bullied as well, instead of going for the cheap laughs and making fun of them too. And hell did I look aweful with my boyish haircut, my dad’s old leather jacket, plaid pants and skater boy pullovers. But there was nothing else to wear for me and I didn’t care at all. Everyday clothes were (and are still) a tool to prevent freezing for me. But things like that make you an outcast. After leaving elementary school I had already lost hope to find friends and my new school mates sensed that of course.

The first thing they thought appropriate was making fun of my weight, which was disappointing since I had already gone through that for three years, while I didn’t even have a concept in my mind for differently shaped bodys. I did not compare myself with others until then.

In conclusion I must have thought something along the lines of “If what I am is insufferable, with all theย unobtrusive hobbies of mine, I could as well be extra and exaggerate.” So I went from overweight and weirdly dressed to overweight, weirdly dressed, tattooed, pierced, lost weight over time, went gothic, dyed my hair orange and became a bit louder. I think in my case I just was the perfect victim at the right spot and the bullying had nothing to do with the actual me being actually unlikeable. People love me for the same old jokes I made over twenty years ago, when I got flamed for them. I still am me.

I remember a really skinny boy in my class being explicitly disturbing, screaming I should die already from the top of his lungs right in my face. It was very obvious that he projected something onto me and that it was his brain actually screaming for some sort of relief. And still kids shouldn’t be confronted with such a severe dysfunctionality.

Later in my life I did go to a class reunion but all I saw was representation, fake smiles, stress, irritation. And amongst all this me, being the hippie girl with feathers in my hair. In another blog I wrote that I chose not to be part of the group and an anonymous person, obviously somebody from my past, claimed that choosing not to be a part of the group might have been my problem all along. I never really responded to that, but here I will:

I’ve had my closure with you guys, I really did. You were part of my way and some of you were more pleasant than others, who chose to be arseholes just because they could. I chose not to, although I could have. There were moments when people annoyed me that much that I just literally flipped their tables over them leaving them shocked that I was able to do that, with the only thing protecting them from a broken nose being my own rational self. After having tried so much, for so long, it’s liberating to realize that there is no obligation to fit in. And it’s even more liberating realizing that the things I got bullied for are actual genuinely positive traits I could help people achieve their lifegoals with. For every single insult you threw at me I’m going to make another person happy. Maybe I went a bit overboard with it when I decided to become this grumpy fairy, posting tons of pictures and articles, accumulating more than 3000 people in total who like what I do. Call it overcompensating if you like. I don’t look into the mirror, seeing doubt and confusion anymore. From the first moment I walked into the class room my place in class was fixed. There was no choice to be made, I did not choose not to belong. It was the circumstances that led to me being the bullet sponge for you and you gladly took the opportunity to come to terms with problems that had nothing to do with me, but with puberty hitting hard. It was dangerous what you did, in many ways. And it still is. But after so much time has passed you lost the ability to harm me, even if you wanted. I have seen things, done things, far bigger than getting bullied at school by a few kids having typical kids issues. So no, you’re wrong. My issue was not that I didn’t want to belong from the start. On the contrary. It was the long sought-after solution.

ย 

ย 

Disclaimer:

In case you come to the conclusion you made me what I am and that bullying can influence people positively, taking me as an example for your crude theory:

Fuck you. Fuck you in particular, you retarded piece of worthless excrement.

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And how about UFOs? Are they real?

Oh boy.

Well since the 11th season of the x-Files is approaching soon (January 3rd!) I thought I could tackle this topic a bit.

And of course there are UFOs, unidentified flying objects. They are real but not necessaly operated by extraterrestrial beings coming from some million lightyears away. Basically everything you see in the sky you cannot identify is a UFO. But that’s not the question. You want to know if I believe in aliens that visit us, abduct people and cut pieces out of cattle.

The universe is huge. The part of the universe we can see is peanuts compared to the part we cannot see. This part is hidden from us because the light hasn’t traveled to us yet. While we can easily get the impression that light is travelling endlessly quick, the speed of light is limited to about 300 000 km per second. For our brains this is quick enough to make us think we see things instantly, right at the same time as they exist. But every photon that reaches our eyes shows us the past. So if we see a star that is 100 lightyears away from us we see an image that is 100 years old because the light needed 100 years to travel this far, hence the name. That’s a problem.

A civilisation like ours likely looks out into and listens to the universe if there are signals to be caught from other civilisations. And if these signals are to be caught, we will likely get messages from beings that are millions of years old and quite outdated. At least from what we know today how signals travel.

For an alien civilisation to visit us they must have overcome said speed problem. While photons, the particles that light consists of, are able to travel with the speed of light, they’re only able to do so because they have no mass. They weigh nothing. An UFO weighs something, at least from what we understand them be: Spaceships carrying alien lifeforms or computer operated devices. And as soon as something weighs something it cannot reach the speed of light anymore without needing an endless supply of energy. That’s what this E=m*cยฒ thing is about. By “endless supply of energy” I don’t mean “very much” or “a huge ass amount”, I mean literally endless. The faster an object goes, the heavier it gets. You can easily imagine that by driving against an elephant wit 1, 5 or 200 mph. The faster you go, the stronger the impact on your car will be. Alien lifeforms visiting us must have solved this problem. Obviously we still don’t have. At this moment we’re not even able to bring a person to the moon, although we did once. Yes, we went to the moon once. I don’t care for your physically incorrect youtube-theories you found once during a beer-infused night where a computer generated voice claimed we didn’t.

But I’m quite positive that there are indeed things happening in this universe we don’t know of and they’ll probably make forward time travelling possible, which would be necessary to visit us. A lot of crazy shit already happened, like matter developing from literally nothing but the potential of matter developing. Like the universe said “Let’s say it may be possible a part of an atom spawns here and give it a likelihood of so-and-so percent to actually appear.” That’s how physics work. It’s awkward, I know.

So with the problem of transportation out of the way alien lifeforms may also have a bunch of social problems to solve to be actually able to evolve into a race that’s able to journey to the stars. That’s a thing we didn’t do either. Because let’s face it: We still have wars going on over whose invisible friend has the biggest junk and about who may own the most of a poisonous substance we use to fuel our engines with and we know for sure this substance isn’t making life on earth any better except for those who have it. Not saying we are monkeys in shoes, but… we are.

So the more I thought about this the more I came to the conclusion it gets unlikelier that aliens do visit us all the time, abduct people, appear in the night sky and such things. But here’s the thing:

It’s not impossible. I’m not a fan of these theories claiming the ancient egyptians weren’t remotely able to build the pyramids without extraterrestrial help. That’s merely a concept to sell books with but has nothing to do with reality. We definitely should stop belittling our ancestors like that because this obstructs research more than any government conspiracy usually does. And we should simply stop seeing UFOs in every single depiction of a winged penis. If we substract all the fraud and the overeager claims from the whole mass, we have a lot less of a mess of sightings and incidents left. And if we then substract all aerial phenomena that are explainable, all the secret government weapon testing there’s even less left. And if we then concentrate on these cases that were definitely not explainable by modern day technology we could work things out more efficiently.

I do believe there are all sorts of beings out there, from living slime to humanoids. But I cannot say if either of these voluntarily visited us. It’s okay believing we are not alone these days. Back in my days, before the internet, it wasn’t. You got heavily laughed at for such theories, only to find the things you said in tv documentaries twenty years later. Things change. And I think we’re gonna find out the truth. Or we won’t. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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2017

In January 2017 I had no clue what this year would have in store for me.
Now, at the beginning of December there are 2666 people following me on instagram, compared to 442 at the beginning of the year.
More than 2600 people wanting to partake in my fantastic world of myths and magic. And you guys become more and more each day, honestly I have no idea where you’re actually coming from ๐Ÿ˜€

But one thing I know for sure: I love my work, making people happy with what you do and create every single day is huge privilege.

For 2018 I promise to you better, bigger and more epic projects, the preparations have already started!

I wish you all a happy yuletide!

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Oh gawd why! Please no!! xD

ย 

Literally. I can’t ๐Ÿ˜€

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A Prayer of the pissed off witch

A Prayer of the modern pissed off witch

Lord and Lady grant me the
power of Fire to, burn the ass
of the stupid individual.

The power of Air, to help
them fly off the top
of a very tall building.

The power of Water, to wash
my hands after choking the
hell out of them.

The power of Earth, to bury
the body so it can never
be found.

As I will it, so mote it be!


(found on instagram)

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Do you believe in ghosts?

First of all: I love science. I love it so much that I listen to astrophysic documentaries while trying to sleep. At the age of 12 I had read some books about surgery and bought several encyclopedias about medicine, astronomy, and basically everything that helped me writing my little stories I loved to write. You guessed it right, I’m a huge nerd ๐Ÿ˜‰

So? Do you believe in ghosts?

Absolutely yes. I believe the spirits or souls of the dead can visit us, spend time with us, try to communicate, be assholes, try to scare you shitless, appear out of thin air and move objects.

But how does that go together?

Well! Let’s start at the beginning, shall we?
When I was young, around the age of two or three, I had the feeling some places of my family’s flat were dangerous. Dangerous not like in “there’re knives and fire and poison” but more as in “you need to get past the space in front of the mirror quickly or something will happen”. These spots weren’t specifically spooky or dark, not even decorated with things I hated. It was more like an immanent feeling of “something scary will happen” with nothing obvious ever triggering it at that time. I grew older and at the age of 4 or 5 I got said feeling while lying in bed. Night terrors aren’t that uncommon and don’t necessarily mean there’re ghosts going around, but at that age I never woke my parents up screaming or crying, I just developed some sort of taboo, not wanting to look at certain areas in the room at night, which was very instinct-driven. So I kept my face under the blanket while sleeping in my parents bed. During the day, the dangerous areas changed, it was always making me nervous going into my parents bedroom but I still did it. I was no anxious child, I loved to run around and the only thing I feared was heights. Other than that I was a stuntman, coming home with bloody knees and elbows all the time because going too quick on a scooter was too much fun ๐Ÿ˜‰ I never had this certain feeling outside of our flat. It seemed bound to it, but nothing supernatural happened to me until I reached the age of 6 or 7. After that event happened I felt even more cautious and thought things would get even more stressful for me. I felt restricted. It was the following event that made me feel like that:

One night, while lying in my parents bed again, because that’s what you like as a kid, I woke up and saw the bedroom door slowly getting shoved open. It was a big figure, walking slouched while limping. At first I thought it was my dad because he had had a knee surgery before and walked in a similar manner, but quicker. I watched the figure walking around the bed, going to my dad’s side and sitting down. At that point I realized that the bed didn’t move or squeak like usual. There was no weight when the figure sat and finally lay down. After a few moments I gathered all my courage together and asked “Dad?” into the darkness but nothing happened, he just started snoring after a few moments. This, indeed, scared me shitless because that of which I had been afraid the whole time now had shown itself, I thought. I hadn’t grasped the concept of actual ghosts outside the television and only knew the archetypical funny ones like Casper or ones from black & white movies, which didn’t scare me at all. I really liked movies withย  zombies, monsters and ghosts which were suitable for children, like the Addams Family or the Munsters. But the things going on outside the TV were definitely different and I didn’t connect TV fantasies and reality with eachother, I never did.

From then on the spook intensified until we moved out. One time tableware in the kitchen clashed in the cupboard, and the most aggressive incident was a loud noise like a pistol shot accompanied with dangling easter decoration spread across the room as if someone pulled on both vases filled with twigs and shot at the same time, plus moving a decorative glass pane with minerals like amethysts and agates so that it started swinging from side to side in the window. By this time, my mother and grandmother had already witnessed strange occurances and this special incident scared us three.

By the time I got 10 – 11 my mother told me the flat had been extra cheap because an old lady had died in it. In the flat next door someone had committed suicide and people also had died in the doctor’s office on our floor. At that time I already had started reading tons of stuff about parapsychology. I had come to the conclusion that nobody knew anything exact, but weird stuff happened which people had no explanation for. We moved flats and the feeling of being afraid receded, but came back once in a while at night. I then tried to switch on the light with the button directly installed next to my bed but the lamp wouldn’t react for some reason, no matter how often I switched the button on. After a while the feeling faded and the light could be switched on again. This happened at least every other week. I had read more books and came across an article, that stated ghosts liked to spook around children, especially girls, who started to hit puberty, which to some extend is the case when you reach the age of 9 or 10. So there I sat, stuck with spook which wouldn’t leave me alone.

On several occasions I had the feeling that “the unexplainable” liked to follow my family. While on vacation my godfather died and the day he died a dinner tray just fell down from the kitchen counter to the floor with nobody ever having touched it. He and my grandmother had been heavily into astrology and while he had studied it in Switzerland he brought my grandma some of his books for her to read while they were younger.

For the sake of readability I’m gonna skip some events but maybe you read of them on my instagram feed.

When I first had a flat of my own I owned a white woolen jacket. I laid it onto my bed to get ready, went under the shower, did some stuff and when I returned the jacket was gone. Vanished into thin air. I looked for it everywhere. Around the bed, in my wardrobe, in every room, in my then-boyfriend’s room but it was gone. I sat down at my computer, started doing some early-internet stuff, turned around after twenty minutes and there it was again, lying on the bed as if nothing happened, which was creepy because I had even flipped the mattress because I was quite sick of such events. Around that time I came to terms with my pagan path a bit and investigated into wicca and witchcraft, but I took everything i read with a grain of salt because of my love of science and I knew esoteric literature was often nothing more than a mere scam. But still I found something useful. One book read, that when you get bothered by a ghost you might want to try insulting it really badly with the worst words you know, suggesting laughing at and taunting it.

So one day I stayed at my parents’ and the strap of one of the blinds started dangling without anybody having touched it. It wasn’t in front of the heater and there was no window open. I saw this movement from the corner of my eye and started swearing at it, and if I can do one thing on this planet it’s swearing like it makes sailors blush.ย  What happened next was a bit unexpected for me but I was pleased with the outcome. The dangling just stopped from one moment to the other. Normally you would have thought why should there be ghosts anyway in the new flat? Did the old lady really follow you? Why should she? But no. Right under my window, before the street had been converted a bit, was the place a window cleaner had died some years ago. I was there with my grandma, walking past the place of accident but changing the side of the street because my grandma didn’t want me to see a dead body at the age of 5 while going to my ballet lessons.

The day my grandma died, a bottle of shampoo or hairspray just fell out of the shelf as if something had pushed it. And when I had a very dark day a couple of days ago, a random net filled with sea shells was pushed out of the shelf above me while sitting motionless at the computer. Pushing things out of shelves seems to be a thing in my family. Funnily these incidents didn’t cause any fear at all.

Of course these incidents are in no way proof that there are actual ghosts going around spooking. But some of the things that happened to us are very unlikely explainable with common laws of physics, even with taking into account things like ball-lightning, mass hallucinationย and random fluctuations of density exist and cause weird phenomena the everyday person knows jack shit about.

And how do you combine these two now?

I must admit I feel like I got used to it. Noises from the kitchen cause me to shout “Don’t you ever shut up?” instead of triggering fear in me. Stuff vanishing into thin air makes me go “If my shit doesn’t appear within 10 minutes I’m gonna stuff you with sage from behind and light your head on fire like a smudge stick!” instead of panicking. And over the years it got less. So I had more time to think about what happened. I learned things like quantum theories exist and that memories in our brains are stored with the help of electricity, although we don’t know for certain how it works. And I have a certain feeling that ghost phenomena can be connected with energy (the physical energy, not the esoterical one) and matter, which are basically the same at the end. Energy cannot be destroyed and when a body dies, this energy needs to go somewhere. And I like the thought that this sort of energy, which some may call soul, sticks together for a while or for eternity to be reincarnated, with new souls developing and old souls getting annihilated with the energy floating away, probably connecting to other emerging souls at that time. Not that this is a valid theory of mine. It’s definitely not. But I like thinking of things being like that just for my personal enjoyment. Because who doesn’t like their loved ones around them?

Have a nice day everyone ๐Ÿ™‚

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[Video] Muslim Vikings and Magic Letters – Runes

 

I know I’m sharing a lot of videos but that’s what my blog is about. Sharing my findings with you guys and promoting a good mix of fun and learning ๐Ÿ˜‰

Here we go with this interesting video I found. It’s about the runes, where they came from, how they were used and who used them when!

 

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[Video] Top 5 Slavic Folklore Creatures

Since I’m part slavic, my great grandparents came from Silesia, I like to go astray from my path a bit and explore the slavic realms of mythology. I also started to learn a bit of russian, but please don’t make me say anything xD

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[Video] A crash course in norse mythology!

Hey, look what I dug up! I gotta check out their whole channel now because this video about the norse pantheon and how all is put together is promising!

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Are you against Christians?

Well that’s a question I got several times now. And no, I’m not. That’d be outrageously stupid to be against people just because of their religion, wouldn’t it?

I am aware though that there are christians out there that would like to convert me or see me convert to their faith or just reject me because I’m an infidel but here’s the thing. I never met one of them in person or was attacked by them in the real life, outside the internet. Lucky me! There’s a lot of christian mythology I love because I grew up with it, hearing bible stories as well as germanic or oriental stories. I attended catholic religious education and never felt out of place. And I think it has a lot to do with how you’re brought up and how you treat people in the first place.

I’d never go around taunting people for what they believe in. If any, I make harmless jokes, and I carefully watch to whom I tell them in order to not offend anyone because I wouldn’t want to get offended myself.

The churches have their own fair share of problems with all the scandals, child molestation, hoarding money and what not. But I don’t feel I should accuse your normal-every-day-neighborhood-christian for all of that since he or she simply isn’t responsible for that. And if said person lives by moral standards which make them do good, how could I ever be nasty to them?

Sure. There’re these stories out there of harmless gothic kids that got harassed and shunned by ultra-christian people because they look weird to them. But can I lump all christians together then? No. I met wonderful people who happened to be christian.

So while a lot of pagan people claim stuff like “life isn’t black and white, you need to view everyone individually, you shouldn’t treat someone badly just because of their faith” it doesn’t seem to apply to christians for them. Maybe because they need an enemy so urgently, that they willingly overthrow their own principles, probably only for the sake of bitching.

So no, I’m definitely not against christians. ๐Ÿ™‚

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I don’t care who started it, I’m the one who’s gonna end it!

At least I try to be as often as possible.

Talking ’bout bullying.

I have looked into several versions of the abyss of the human mind, from different perspectives. I was the one to be bullied as a child for not conforming to the other kid’s expectations, but I also turned onto them and let them feel what it is like to be inferior in a certain field or profession. And as I grew older, collected more and more experience, learned about the complexity of everybody’s lives, I started to more and more despise this behaviour and intervene whenever I came across it. Luckily I don’t have a lack of confidence anymore, so that attempts to bully me or my friends don’t intimidate me anymore.

We have to differentiate something. On the one hand, a certain hierarchy amongst children is key to findig your place in life. You get to experience that there are nice and mean people, you learn whom to avoid, how to cope with rejection, whom to trust, and how to handle treachery. You get tempted to do all the bad stuff yourself, to bitch about your teachers or the new kid in class, and to accumulate so much anger that you want to engage in a stalwart fistfight. All these things are human, important parts of your development and missing out on some of these may lead to you having a deficit in interacting with others.

And sometimes, keeping the hierarchy intact is a very rewarding thing. Let’s say a new kidย  comes into class one morning and you know nothing about him. That’s a potentially dangerous situation! Not dangerous as in “life threatening” but more as in “he might take over my place and my friends”. So the first thing you’d do is shooing him away. If you do it right, people may laugh about your comments and join in on the fun. And since everybody likes a good bit of fun, soon the whole class will partake in this. Some will want to overtrump others in order to get more and more laughs and from there on it’s a downwards spiral for said new kid.

Then bullying is a natural thing right?
Yes. In a way. But hurricanes and cancer are too, you know. Not having the right to make another person’s life a living hell is a thing most children won’t care about. They’re more driven by their impulses than by consideration. And some even may simply not care about others’ feelings at all, probably because they have never been in a position where they were rejected before. Or get rejected all the time at home.

So how to avoid bullying?
I don’t think there’s a chance bullying will ever go away. But you can prevent some of the potential harm by strengthening your kids’ self-esteem. Teaching them that it’s completely okay to be interested in stuff others aren’t interested in, to play boys’ sports as a girl, to go to ballet as a boy, to pursue a career aside from medicine or law. Kids with greater self-esteem won’t suffer that much from bullying than kids without. And self-esteem prevents kids from bullying others because they genuinely believe their place within the hierarchy is assured.

Of course you will encounter others with a great self-esteem, who still are big bullies. That’s the downside of theories, they don’t apply to each and everyone. So encourage your kids to also seek help if they’re attacked, and even fight back if necessary. Preparing it for the real world and making sure it can defend itself is part of your job of protecting it.

Especially when you’re a heathen family you may come across some prejudices. And being confident is key to dealing with problems that may arise from such things.

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In Odin we trust :D

In Odin we trust | Illvanno

And sometimes I make my friends into memes, just for shits and giggles ๐Ÿ˜€

In case you want to visit my good friend Marcel you can do it on Facebookย or Instagram.

Love doing these little photo edits, it’s always fun to see what you can do with these digital tools like Photoshop. ๐Ÿ™‚

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The Rescue!

 

Look at the epic the guys at Kaptorga are capable of producing!

So much love and thought went into this, the villain even has filed teeth! (Hope he didn’t really do that xD )

Hope you enjoy! ๐Ÿ™‚

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[Music] Frozen “Let it go” – Male voice cover

This guy’s cover is everything right now ๐Ÿ˜‰

I have a big weak spot for fairy tales. Fall and winter war the perfect times to listen to some tapes or watch movie adaptions of your favorite stories ๐Ÿ™‚

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PS:

The trade license is real since yesterday โค
An entry at the Chamber of Trades will follow.

This is going to be an epic journey and I’m happy to have you guys accompanying me! There’s still a lot to do, a lot to buy, a lot to pay, a lot to learn – and no matter what tries to step into my way, no matter who tries to undermine my quest, I will fight and I will overcome these obstacles, even if their asses sat in an agency protected by doors and letterheads, stalking my shit on the internet trying to find ways to crush me like they did with so many before.
Not this time. Not this bitch.
My silicone for making molds arrived, aswell as a ring mandrel, some chemicals for generating patina, some very exact exacto-knives, some pyrography tools, soap stone, several rasps and my polishing agent. I’m looking forward to the next weeks, as there’ll be a lot of crafting! The little bronze newt I made will get his wooden box stuffed with a red satin pillow in order to arrive safely at his new home by the way!
Let’s make this world a better place piece by piece, spreading beautiful things, encouraging eachother and being creative. It’s about time, with so much darkness arising on the horizon.

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[Movies] The Secret of Kells

I recently re-discovered this trailer for the movie “Brendan and the Secret of Kells” and got a bit obsessed with it ๐Ÿ˜‰ I probably need a copy of the Book of Kells, too!

 

For all who are not familiar with the movie: It’s a beautiful story about Brendan, a boy who lives in an irish abbey in the 8th century. As he is sent to collect plant parts for the making of ink he encounters a forest dwelling spirit who saves him from a hungry pack of wolves and so the story unfolds. As you can imagine, his uncle, the abbot, is not amused with him leaving the abbey…

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Minecraft: Ardacraft

Minecraft – We all know it at least from youtube videos popping up once in a while with kids playing it but did you know there’s a whole bunch of people dedicating their time to create beautiful fantasy and medieval landscapes in Minecraft?

They commonly use the Conquest ModPack (which you can download here)

I myself occasionally love to play a bit of minecraft. While in building mode you can relax a bit and basically build whatever you want, from more realistic houses, temples, and castles to epic megabuilds and sceneries. Some people even built Kings Landing from Game of Thrones ๐Ÿ˜€

But these guys here, from the Ardacraft Server, did an excellent job on creating Tolkien’s world in Minecraft, a world you can visit, too! Here you go:ย https://ardacraft.me

Take a look at their youtube channel here:ย https://www.youtube.com/c/ardacraftmc/

Have fun! ๐Ÿ™‚

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[Food] Lembas bread

 

“Eat little at a time, and only at need. For these things are given to serve you when all else fails. The cakes will keep sweet for many many days, if they are unbroken and left in their leaf-wrappings, as we have brought them. One will keep a traveler on his feet for a day of long labour, even if he be one of the tall men of Minas Tirith.”

 

Some time ago I came across a recipe for Lembas bread I still want to try, being the foody-elfling I am! ๐Ÿ˜€

It goes as follows:

2 cups of buckwheat flour
1/4 cup of sugar
1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon
1 teaspoon of vanilla sugar
8 tablespoons of butter
2/3 cup of sour cream
1 egg
1 tablespoon of honey

  1. Mix all the dry ingredients
  2. Add butter and knead until you get a crumbly dough
  3. Add the wet ingredients, knead until you get a thick batter
  4. Put the dough on a baking tray with baking paper
  5. Pre-heat the oven to 200 ยฐC / about 392 ยฐF
  6. Bake until golden, cut into desired size while still hot

Happy baking!

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My path

As I stated in an earlier post about our archaeological replica collectionย my family and I went on lots of journeys where we learned a lot about other cultures, modern and ancient, and I grew up with pyramids, mummies, germanic, greek and roman mythology, nature documentaries and old movies about Hercules, Ben Hur and Moses.

Since my mom and dad where “sort of” catholic I also went to church and communion and attended religious education at school, featuring mostly christianity. I didn’t get pressured to do anything of that, except for the communion which was more like showing off your pretty white dress ๐Ÿ˜‰ but other than that I never got scolded for being interested in a lot of things. On the contrary, my grandma always said she was heathen since she had had an unpleasant time at her school as a kid, which was led by nuns and punishment for wrong behaviour was executed with cane. But that wasn’t my personal reason to “become pagan”.

With the dawn of the internet, I must have been somewhere around 14-16, I started seaching the web for articles and websites about witchcraft and somewhat felt a bit more at home than in christian mythology, which is why I believe this must have been a matter of taste rather than feeling rejection against the faith. And since I hadn’t had any negative experience I still enjoy watching documentaries about the Bible to this day, just as much as I like the Sumerians or ancient Egypt. For me these things belong into a complete educational concept: To know the different faiths and being able to decide if you’d want to adapt them for yourself or not.

I stumbled across wicca but I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of a coven and a hierarchy, being the lone wolf I am. But it was the time of the internet forums, with Facebook still being a decade away in the future, and I read a lot about peoples concepts, also about satanism, buddhism, otherkin, shamanism, all sorts of things. I tried working with tarot cards and even made me a wand with a golden walnut dangling from one end, I hoarded piles of crystals and started buying some more gothic clothes until I got fed up with all the black and started dressing like I had robbed a circus in colorful blouses, bell-bottoms and kitschy jewelry. Having been not the most popular kid in town until I was 16 and changed classes, I stayed a bit reclusive and bookish but as soon as my circle of friends grew I became more outgoing, starting to roam around the woods near where I lived, offering little things like sugar and spices for either the gods and goddesses of the forest or the ants, depending on who would come first. But I hadn’t found my pantheon yet. I had a concept of male and female divinities in mind but it was still unformed when I was 18-26 actually.

In 2008 I had gone and moved to France to work for Blizzard Entertainment, which was an amazing time. And by 2010 I got more and more attracted to norse paganism. Over time I had made friends who were asatru and celtoi and we exchanged ideas and one day, while driving to work and actually listening to the pagan band Omnia it dawned on me that norse paganism was my thing. I loved the artwork, I enjoyed music with according themes, the overall aesthetics were quite pleasing, so to say ๐Ÿ˜€ย  And of course I loved medieval markets.

Back in Germany, in 2013, I registered my Instagram account just put some photos out there. I loved taking pics and that was a perfect opportunity to publish them and having them sort of on a back up space because I tend to let computers explode by the way. No idea why but I literally wear them out, like draining-their-life-out-of-them ๐Ÿ˜€ 4 years later and almost 40 kilos lighter here I am, feeling finally at home with my choice of te norse pantheon.

It’s been a long road, getting from there to here, I can tell you ๐Ÿ˜‰ And I’m glad it went relatively easy.

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[Q&A] What kind of pagan are you?

I don’t know if that’s an actual definition ๐Ÿ˜‰ but besides from having all the norse gods like Odin, Thor, Freya, Frey, Baldr, Loki and co. in my life (Asatru) I might also be some sort of herbal kitchen witch that likes to sweet-talk to her cats in swedish, believes to have had encounters with ghosts of relatives and strangers and a tiny bit of what some may call precognition. Nothing too exciting I suppose. I’m quite openly pagan and don’t get any backlash, for which I’m quite thankful.

So tell me in the comments, what’s your way? What’s your pagan life like?

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Foxy goodness

With more and more photos on the internet of beautiful women holding cute foxes I thought this little guy might be fit for a quick reality check ๐Ÿ˜‰
Foxes are awesome little buggers but they’ll tear your home to shreds in no time ๐Ÿ˜€ But still – you gotta love Loki the red fox!

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The Tale of Loki

 

Look what I found! Youtuber Tarvaa the Bard told some stories of Loki I very much enjoyed listening to ๐Ÿ™‚

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[Music] Vindsvept via Youtube

What a find! I’m always looking out for some beautiful, epic and enchanting background music – behold this one! The Youtuber named Vindsvept createdย these amazing pieces for us to enjoy. Definitely recommend that! And the best thing is, it’s under creative commons license so you can use these songs for your own projects as long as you give proper credit and follow the guidelines he states in his channel info. Me gusta! โค

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[Books] Viking Designs

Inspiration is key. And in my creative work I take inspiration from all sorts of places – Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook, Google Image Search are the more modern attempts, but I also own loads of historic books. Here’re some of them with patterns inside, to kindle your imaginative fire ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Viking Designs
ISBN:ย 0486404692
Celtic and old norse designs
ISBN:ย 0486412296
Celtic Stencil Designs: Pictoral Archive
ISBN:ย 0486264270
Ready to use: Celtic Designs
ISBN:ย 0486289869
In case you want to support me a bit you can use the clickable images in this article to buy the book, which are Amazon ref links and will lead you directly to the product!

 

 

Have a great and creative day, y’all!

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Twitter: @livingpaganism

I do have a Twitter acc and it’s time to use it more, I suppose ๐Ÿ˜€

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[Music] Omnia – Saltatio Vita

 

You can like Omnia or not, fact is they know how to rock pagan folk! I met them once and they were pretty lovely people, despite having the drama going on with the organizer of germany’s biggest touring medieval market MPS (Mittelalterlich Phantasie Spectaculum). Always take internet drama with a grain of salt, guys ๐Ÿ˜‰

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[Documentary][ENG] Leave it to the beavers!

Beavers are fascinating animals, we got them on the european continent aswell as in the U.S.. Although their work maybe isn’t always that welcome, it’s still incredible what castles they are able to create.

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World of Warcraft – They’re finally doin’ it! (Musings of an Ex-GM xP)

 

I’m a huge fan of World of Warcraft. Having started playing in late 2005 (12 effing years ago. omgs.) I strongly remember playing with my first warrior, kicking some robo-butts in on the fields of Westfall and stumbling right into Duskwood, which was on a way too high level for me at that time. I died my way through just to end in Stranglethorn Vale and getting chased by either stealth panthers, trolls, gorillas and the Venture Company. I metaphorically shat my pants and noped out of there as fast as I could, falling from a cliff and dying ๐Ÿ˜€ Little did I know that three years later I’d be a GM myself, digging deep into GM-stuff for another three years of my life and providing my little bit of service to this epic franchise. And now at BlizzCon 2017 they announced they’d be making vanilla WoW-servers available! How awesome is that?

I mean the release of each add-on (and content patch) was quite an event for itself, spinning the story further and further. But after the Cataclysm hit, the world was changed. Well, they had to, since they wanted to introduce flying on the old continents and some areas especially around Duskwood and Stranglethorn Vale, but also up in the north where Lordaeron was supposed to be, or around Mount Hyjal on the other side, were a bit outdated with textures being repeated over and over again in areas you weren’t supposed to be in. So re-designing the world and putting the occasional invisible barrier was a good choice to clean things up a bit. But I have to admit, I missed that certain feeling a bit.

The feeling of being a noob, waddling into areas with mobs way too strong for me, the immanent danger of Murloc patrols spawning right behind me while I was searching for the remains of two guards who unfortunately got eaten by these gargling fishy-guys (you guessed it, I’m alliance), not to forget the dread of Hogger, for whom you had to clear the whole area because you’d run the risk of running into one of the gnoll patrols who already had decorated their tents with human faces if you looked closely. The joy of asking people in the chat if they’d come and help you take this nasty son of a gnoll-mother down, hoping they wouldn’t ninja-loot your stuff away in the end. In short: The good old glory days when everything was new, level 60 was months away and you had only heard about a dragon lady named Onyxia living somewhere in a cave in the swamps, for whom you needed 40 people to win against. Holy shipload of dragon poop!

I doubt that the whole complete experience will come back once the vanilla servers are up. It was another time back then, MMORPGs were a bigger deal, with WoW being the first reaching such a magnitude as it did, being easily approachable, having a really satisfying reward system even before the achievements were even implemented. But I strongly believe that the vanilla servers will be a beautiful experience, going back in time and being 12 years younger, maybe grinding your weapon skills back up on trash mobs because you switched from club to sword and having a laugh because of the A-Team references in the Gnomeregan questchain.

The whole World of Warcraft is a wonderful journey and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to start over again at the very beginning. Not saying we need dedicated servers for each add-on (although fantasizing about that is fun :P) but making the vanilla servers real is a kind gesture from Blizz to the fans.

I’m definitely prepared!

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[Documentary][GER] – Der wilde Balkan (The wild Balkans)

I’m very much in love with these landscapes!

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[Books] My first book about witchcraft

To be honest with you, before I came to accept that I was just me and I didn’t need a label to find my place in this world I was a gothic chick (17-19), a sort-of-wiccan witch (16-21), a hippie (19-24) and several other shades of alternative. And even today, 16 years later, I like the occasional all-black spike and leatherpants-outfit. So one day as a kid I just woke up and decided to research about witchcraft. I grabbed several books from the library and, since Amazon was a new thing, I ordered some books from there, too, and I stumbled accross an author named Silver Ravenwolf. My first book on this topic I read in a long chronology of random books was this one:

“To ride a silver broomstick”

In germany the book had a slightly different name which made it all seem a bit more popular. “Zauberschule der neuen Hexen” – “Magic school of the new witches”, which came across a bit more Harry Potter-esque. It was also the time of internet forums, when I started to be interested in all the witchy goodness, and in said forums the author wasn’t that well perceived. (I definitely cannot speak for all the internet forums though. It’s just my experience ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) I got where people were coming from, after I had read the book. But first things first.

Silver Ravenwolf speaks about her own experiences, in a “When I was your age, there were no books I could consult”-way and she’s very confident about herself being a witch, which is not necessarily a bad thing! You can find many inspirations for rituals inside, instructions even, and I found the approaches really helpful while trying to shape my personal view of witchcraft and wicca.

And here comes the ‘but’.

The author’s confidence can cause the reader to take these guidelines as absolute rules. And as always with rules and beliefs of one person, they do not necessarily apply to every other single person. So what you need in order to be able to work with such a book is a lot of self confidence of your own. You need to be able to question what you read, to stay open minded, to use these ‘rules’, or ‘suggestions’ as a helping guideline while always being ready to overthrow them as soon as you learned something else is true for you.

Would I recommend the book?

Yes. Even though there are incorrect or debatable aspects in it. The thing with being pagan is, that the people refuse to believe in the absolute truth of a book written by humans, claiming that the words in it are divine. Especially when a book is written by a human, be it a witch or a plumber, it’s clear that it must be written from their perspective and there can always be changes of circumstances, changes of scientific knowledge and such, that make these books outdated. And if you find an error in a book, like lack of historical knowledge, you don’t need to adapt that error for yourself, you can instead explore where errors in books (and in life) can lead you.

In case you want to support me a bit you can use the clickable images in this article to buy the book, which are Amazon ref links and will lead you directly to the product!

English:

Silver Ravenwolf
“To ride a silver broomstick”
Llewellyn Publications,U.S.
ISBN:ย 087542791X

German:

Silver Ravenwold
“Zauberschule der neuen Hexen – Magie & Macht”
Heyne
ISBN:ย 3453197909

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Metal Clay, the newt, projects

I’m in love with metal clay. So much so, that I started working with it seriously. By now I made a variety of pendants and earrings and I’m currently waiting for my polishing agent and chemicals for patination and I’m dying to experiment with all this stuff! ๐Ÿ˜€

The video above shows my first project. Since I like to watch a certain Twitch streamer I thought it’d be worth a try to make a pendant of his mascot (and send it to him as soon as it’s ready).

Before firing, metal clay can be sculpted with water and afterwards you can burnish and polish it but you have to be careful not to overact on your piece since it may break. You could hammer it a bit and I did it successfully, but sometimes pieces can be brittle. Plus you have to make sure your piece is 100% absolutely dry. Like dry. Really dry. Otherwise the firing process will produce bubbles and chipping. Especially with thicker pieces.

After firing and polishing with a rotary tool, I got this:

lurch bronze bling

There are still little scratch marks that will disappear after the final polishing.

Of course, making something complicated as a first project was a bit risky, but I made a prototype in super sculpey* and used it as a sort of guideline. For further projects like this I’m planning on working with silicone forms I’m gonna make myself.

For firing a piece you need an oven that is able to heat up to at least 820 ยฐC, but be aware that such ovens tend to get a bit imprecise in the lower temperature regions like 150 ยฐC, which means you have to be careful while burning super sculpey. This stuff can easily get charred. Depending on the oven the temperature can go up 8-10 degrees.

But since metal clay reacts differently in heat there’s no problem when drying it under 150 ยฐC for 30 minutes, while super sculpey may have problems with its position inside the oven (too close to the heating element for example). I definitely plan on adding another household oven to my workspace in the future. It’s not recommended to fire that stuff in your oven where you prepare your food in ๐Ÿ˜‰

Super sculpey is definitely a thing! I plan on sculpting pendants in polymer clay and make silicone molds of them to be able to reproduce my creations easily.

 

That’s my little overview for now! Hope you enjoyed it! Have a great day everyone!

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Collection Off-Showing!

Ok guys, hands down, who doesn’t like to collect stuff? I mean we all did at least as kids. You don’t have to overact on collecting like I do, but collecting is fun! And I’m gonna share at least one part of my collection with you.

As you maybe know I own a huge collection of vintage toys from the 80s and 90s which brought me the nickname “CrazyMerchLady” (which you can also find on Instagram *cough*) but I also collect archaeological replicas together with my mom. Back in the 80s my family and I went on several cruises through the mediterranean sea, visiting Israel, Turkey, Egypt, Spain, Italy, Croatia… you name it. And of course my parents bought a lot of souvenirs from there, mostly replicas of things you’d find in the museums. So that’s how our collection of little wonders started. Nowadays we have the internet and buy things online quite regularly.

So here we go with the first item, the dancing faun.

Dancing Faun

 

The original statue can be found in the remains of Pompeii, Italy, in front of the House of the Faun. The house was built in the second century BC and a replica of the faun is standing in the middle of a so called impluvium, a basin where rainwater was collected in.

The faun in the form of Pan is a greek spirit of the untamed woods, and as we know the ancient romans loved to take greek mythology and incorporate it into their own, giving him the new latin name “Faunus”. Interesting to know is that normally, the faunus (aswell as the goddess Fauna who is the wife, sister or daughter of Faunus) are associated with goats, having goats legs (and heavily inspiring the image of the devil in later times) but this specimen has normal feet.

Hope you like my little excursion into the deep vault of our ancient relics collection! And if you want to – stay tuned, there’s a lot of more stuff to come in the future!

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[Books] Fibulae – Fibeln

I get my inspiration from many different places, also from classical books, the analogue kind, with pages made from paper ๐Ÿ˜‰

So today I present you one of my source books. Don’t worry, I have many, and this one’s in German. But if you happen to speak a bit of german you’ll definitely love it, plus there are plenty of pictures in it that help you distinguish the different kinds of fibulae there are.

fibeln

If you want to start with re-enactment or want to make a costume which is a bit more on the historically accurate side, you’ll probably wonder where to start. The internet is full of Birka and Gotland finds but is the information you find correct? And don’t get me started on how to make the amazing jewelry you see on medieval markets yourself! If you didn’t go through an apprenticeship to become a gold or blacksmith it’s so confusing! But fear not! I’m here to bring enlightenment! At least a bit ๐Ÿ˜‰

The first important thing you’ll need if you want to make this history shit your hobby is proper source books. You need to read. Like a lot. And although the internet is an awesome place to catch information fast, it’s also filled with 404 errors, sites close down, and there goes your trusty source you visited for years. Not so with books! Ha!

This here is a book I bought myself for yule because I definitely want to make some brooches and fibulae and clasps of all sorts. Besides photos you find some detailed drawings of several pieces and the description and explanation are easy understandable. After reading this book you probably won’t be a pro in recognizing fibulae of all sorts and ages, but it’s a great starter and that’s what my little series here is all about.

The area the depicted fibulae are from is mostly germany, from the early middle ages.

 

In case you want to support me a bit you can use the clickable images in this article to buy the book, which are Amazon ref links and will lead you directly to the product!

 

Fibeln: Erkennen – Bestimmen Beschreiben (archรคologisches Bestimmungsbuch)
Language: German
Pages: 168
Publisher: Deutscher Kunstverlag
ISBN:ย 3422071199

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Youtube \o/

I know, I know, it’s not the time to start with youtube. There’s a lot of drama going on over there about ad revenues, crappy content and what not. But making a bunch of money by posting make up and prank videos is not what I aim for. But the platform is nice!

So?

I thought about making some videos about paganism, creative stuff involving my love for animations, fantasy, my art. No drama, no ‘How many knives fit in my mouth?” challenges, just some plain creative content. With no ads. Intended as an additional feature to my Instagram realm and this blog.

Currently I’m working on a little video about the Edda and the norse gods and how the world came to be. The script is done, but there’re still some animations to make and some recording to do.

We’ll see!

Have a nice day, all!

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The Witcher – Fan-made short film

 

As you can imagine I’m a bit in love with the Witcher franchise and I stared in awe at this gemstone of a fanfilm! Behold this epic treasure! ๐Ÿ˜€

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Let’s start blogging, shall we!

It’s getting darker outside again, the sky’s more often grey than blue, it’s cold and rainy, but the leaves start to turn to this colorful ocean of red, yellow and brown. This leads to me being more at home and of course starting a new blog. I’m getting hella creative these days ๐Ÿ˜€

So, what can you expect here? What is this place? Well, to be honest, I don’t have a concrete definition. I want to share my art, nature stuff, all things medieval, photos, maybe some music, stories, my latest loot, everything that takes place in my world, so to say.

Maybe you know me already, probably from my instagram @LivingPaganism or you just came accross this blog by chance (and google), either way, I bid you welcome in my little realm! This place is all about nature, old gods, mythology, creativity, knowledge and fun ๐Ÿ™‚

My art consists of several different things. I sculpt jewelry in metal clay, but also work with wood, stones, feathers to create pieces, and also make ritual items like painted and/or carved bones and stones or rune sets, create some digital artwork by editing photos and videos, doing a bit of voice acting for audio plays. Maybe, just maybe, I’m going back to do a little bit of youtube videos, making a tutorial or an occasional vlog, but that I cannot promise ๐Ÿ˜‰ย Since I speak several languages, german, english, french, swedish and a tiny bit of russian, it might occur that I share content in these languages. You can never know enough!

And I’m also a huge nerd. If there’s anything I love outside of my natural polytheistic witchy realm, it’s the nerdity. Not only Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, Vikings and all the other usual suspects, but also popculture from the 80s and 90s, video games, manga, pen&paper games, board games, etc!

See you hopefully very soon!

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Greetings!

This here shall be my little space, where I want to share my ideas, photos, inspirations, adventures and more with you. Hope you’ll enjoy your stay here!

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