I won’t. And as long as I won’t stop dreaming there will be hope. And trust. And family. New and old friends. Colleagues.
It’s almost GamesCom time and I came to reminisce about the last few weeks, also years, and what magic happened in such a short time.
I strive to help my friends, no matter what. Helping them grow personally or helping with projects and making them happy makes me happy aswell, so I’m probably gonna tear off one leg to make things become reality.
Like in this case.
By sheer luck I became a member of Ceres Games, who I thought could profit from my experience in various fields and as time went on we all grew together a bit. And because I can’t leave things alone until they’re epic enough I made sure the decoration for our booth would be lit af. You’re gonna see some pictures here next week 😉
And as if this wasn’t enough I was entrusted with a little project that has the potential to be so incredibly much fun, and I’m really really keen to make my dear friends from Kaptorga proud of the result. You shall see very soon what’s to come! 😀
The day before yesterday some random person contacted me via Facebook and after they heard I would be attending GamesCom instead of another event about the same time they said something really strange. I know they projected their own images onto me because they didn’t know shit about who I am and what I do and they thought I was in my early 20s, so it was a wild guess into the blue they hoped to be true when they said I must be a little star by now and that I would only do this stuff for the attention and admiration of the masses. I prefered not to answer to this accusation in that moment with anything else than being annoyed about this brazenness but I thought replying here, where people might want to read that stuff instead of staring at my tits would do:
No. I’m not a star.
I stay up until the early morning hours to finish crafting I have to do for our booth. There will be no stage I’ll be standing on and I prefer to work in the background most of the time. I take photos, I edit them, I write texts, I analyze growth, I create little animations like lower thirds and bouncy letters so that everyone has everything they need, I manage social media accounts and on top of all this I have my own business going on of creating and selling medieval and fantasy jewelry, running my own Instagram, organizing collaborations, not only between me and companies but also for those I’m working for. My name will probably appear not half as often in the credits as I had tasks to do. And that’s actually okay because I’m mostly interested in the result and that everything’s running effectively for everyone while getting there.
Yes, I am bubbly and funny at times and yes that stuff catches some attention. Sometimes unwanted attention but that’s life. You gotta ignore these peeps. And yes! I’ve stood on some stages in my past and actually did some acting! Even in front of several hundreds of people and I even did some karaoke of Cher’s Just like Jesse James while working for Blizzard back in the days 😉 But I don’t regard this stuff as something to show off with. I simply love working the stuff I do and making everything an experience worthwhile to remember. That’s it. Nothing more. After that I can go home and be content with what I did. In fact I’m more like a weird mom. Having extra hobbies and some nasty humour but always taking care that nobody’s purse gets stolen and everyone gets home safely and doesn’t fall and break something when drunk.
It can feel a bit offending when people who don’t know you characterize you like some youtube fame bitch who alsways pushes her ass to the front. But at the end of the day these people don’t matter. They can’t. They mustn’t. Because it’s what you and your friends and family think about you that counts. And here we’re coming back a bit to good ol’ paganism and the Havamal I like to read in. Live in a way that the stories they will tell about you are fucking awesome! And don’t stop dreaming.